Thy shalt edit the Holy Union Variables,
and only then thy mighy gaze upon the sacred Union Ceremony Scroll.
The Holy Union Variables:
The Holy Union Ceremony Scroll:
Today we unite to joyfully but solemnly celebrate the Holy marriage between fella A and fella B .
As is for the Holy tradition, we will read from the Marrying book, chapter three, verses nine through twenty-one.
All rise please.
And Saint Padre Pio raised the Holy Parchment up on high, saying:
"Oh Lord, bless this holyest union,
that with it thou mayst unite these fellas until forever, in thy mercy.
And the Lord did grin. And the fellas did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chunks....
And the Lord spake, saying:
"First shalt thou take out the Holy 1.44 floppy disk.
Then shalt thou count in thy head to three, no more, no less.
Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.
Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
Five is right out.
Once the number three, being the third number, be reached,
then give thou thy Holy 1.44 floppy disk towards thy fella , who,
being blessed in My sight, shall rejoice with thy."
Dear fella A and fella B, you are now united forever by the Holy power of Lord,
now rejoice and go unto the world to live in happyness .
Now you fellas can ping your fella.
The celebration is now ended.